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Central PA Winter 2022/2023


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Sorry to derail the thread, but I need to talk candidly, and this is the one social media outlet where my wife can't see what I say...

It's looking more and more like I'm going to be going through the Big D, and not Dallas.

Despite my mom's need for assistance with daily life, my wife will NOT consider moving out here to Arizona, and has said there's no use in continuing the marriage. Now, some could say I should move my mom back to PA, but it just doesn't seem feasible.

First, I don't know if she could handle the stress of such a big endeavor in her rather fragile state. She has severe COPD, and in the past was brought back from death during a cardiac arrest. We'd have to sell this house and our house in PA, and try to find a ranch home somewhere. With that in mind, my mom&dad took out a reverse mortgage years ago, so we'd get only 50% of the sale of the AZ home. 

Out of that, there's moving costs, multiple air trips to relocate cars, and probably a short term nursing home until everything was finalized. It would probably take all of us broke doing that.

Really, it's best for my mom to stay here where her doctors all know her condition and her medical needs.

There's much more, including weather, where the cold impedes her breathing capability. Her lungs work at 20% and as such is on 24/7 oxygen. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She'd struggle mightily back there.

On top of that, and the real reason I'm out in AZ, is her macular degeneration. In the photo, she is at stage D, so I am her eyes, her transportation, and her cook and housecleaner.

amd.jpg.9d16f714985df9e6eed90039e5670e35.jpg

There is no way I can stick her in a nursing home, go back to PA, and basically abandon her out here. How do you do that and say, "ok mom, here you go. Have a nice life..."? I can't do that.

So, I guess I needed to vent a bit, and see what you guys think. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I the evil ogre my wife is trying to make me out to be? 

If anyone cares to respond, please DM me so we don't clutter up the thread over my dilemma. 

 

 

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55 minutes ago, Voyager said:

Sorry to derail the thread, but I need to talk candidly, and this is the one social media outlet where my wife can't see what I say...

It's looking more and more like I'm going to be going through the Big D, and not Dallas.

Despite my mom's need for assistance with daily life, my wife will NOT consider moving out here to Arizona, and has said there's no use in continuing the marriage. Now, some could say I should move my mom back to PA, but it just doesn't seem feasible.

First, I don't know if she could handle the stress of such a big endeavor in her rather fragile state. She has severe COPD, and in the past was brought back from death during a cardiac arrest. We'd have to sell this house and our house in PA, and try to find a ranch home somewhere. With that in mind, my mom&dad took out a reverse mortgage years ago, so we'd get only 50% of the sale of the AZ home. 

Out of that, there's moving costs, multiple air trips to relocate cars, and probably a short term nursing home until everything was finalized. It would probably take all of us broke doing that.

Really, it's best for my mom to stay here where her doctors all know her condition and her medical needs.

There's much more, including weather, where the cold impedes her breathing capability. Her lungs work at 20% and as such is on 24/7 oxygen. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She'd struggle mightily back there.

On top of that, and the real reason I'm out in AZ, is her macular degeneration. In the photo, she is at stage D, so I am her eyes, her transportation, and her cook and housecleaner.

amd.jpg.9d16f714985df9e6eed90039e5670e35.jpg

There is no way I can stick her in a nursing home, go back to PA, and basically abandon her out here. How do you do that and say, "ok mom, here you go. Have a nice life..."? I can't do that.

So, I guess I needed to vent a bit, and see what you guys think. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I the evil ogre she's trying to make me out to be? 

If anyone cares to respond, please DM me so we don't clutter up the thread over my dilemma. 

 

 

I don’t know what to say - but this is so tough to read. I am sorry. I understand both viewpoints. There are specialized companies that transport those who otherwise can’t travel but that doesn’t help if she can’t live in your PA home. 
 

It doesn’t help, but you both will be in my thoughts and I hope you find a good answer to this. 

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Sorry to hear about this. It's a tough situation but I have a hard time saying I wouldn't tell my significant other to hit the bricks if they weren't even being open to making a move. Even if you don't want to, there's got to be some kind of compromise or other action that can be taken. If they werent open to trying, I'd be open to filing.

Sucks.

Sent from my motorola edge 5G UW (2021) using Tapatalk



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For better or worse. Well she apparently does not know what that means.  My god, going blind and not breathing for a parent is terrifying in any situation and especially to the children and grandchildren. Moving your mother to PA nursing home would be the best option if you want to save your marriage. But if the wife says no, its time to hit the road and live with Mom until the end.  I know my wife would support either one of our parents no matter the situation. We miss them. You wife's parents still alive or have they passed and she simply does not care?  So Sorry

:cry:

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Truly sorry . For a good 17 years I was my mothers #1 priority . I know I'm your least favorite person here, but I see forum post as meaningless compared to real life situations. I would probably return the favor, but life is extremely complicated and tricky at times . I have never been married so maybe its just easy for me to say that's what I would do.  I will pray that you and your family find the best outcome .

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2 hours ago, Voyager said:

Sorry to derail the thread, but I need to talk candidly, and this is the one social media outlet where my wife can't see what I say...

It's looking more and more like I'm going to be going through the Big D, and not Dallas.

Despite my mom's need for assistance with daily life, my wife will NOT consider moving out here to Arizona, and has said there's no use in continuing the marriage. Now, some could say I should move my mom back to PA, but it just doesn't seem feasible.

First, I don't know if she could handle the stress of such a big endeavor in her rather fragile state. She has severe COPD, and in the past was brought back from death during a cardiac arrest. We'd have to sell this house and our house in PA, and try to find a ranch home somewhere. With that in mind, my mom&dad took out a reverse mortgage years ago, so we'd get only 50% of the sale of the AZ home. 

Out of that, there's moving costs, multiple air trips to relocate cars, and probably a short term nursing home until everything was finalized. It would probably take all of us broke doing that.

Really, it's best for my mom to stay here where her doctors all know her condition and her medical needs.

There's much more, including weather, where the cold impedes her breathing capability. Her lungs work at 20% and as such is on 24/7 oxygen. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She'd struggle mightily back there.

On top of that, and the real reason I'm out in AZ, is her macular degeneration. In the photo, she is at stage D, so I am her eyes, her transportation, and her cook and housecleaner.

amd.jpg.9d16f714985df9e6eed90039e5670e35.jpg

There is no way I can stick her in a nursing home, go back to PA, and basically abandon her out here. How do you do that and say, "ok mom, here you go. Have a nice life..."? I can't do that.

So, I guess I needed to vent a bit, and see what you guys think. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I the evil ogre my wife is trying to make me out to be? 

If anyone cares to respond, please DM me so we don't clutter up the thread over my dilemma. 

 

 

I am very sorry you have this situation it’s a no win win. I will tell you I was in a similar situation about two years ago. My wife was very close to her dad and had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. They gave him three months to live. He was able to fight and lived for two years. During those two years she spent a lot of time with him way more than with us, our family. It was very straining on our relationship as I almost felt abandoned in a way. It’s a two way street and both sides have to give and take. I spoke with many people about my situation and had great guidance. If you love your wife and can make it work then I would try. I know this is a terrible thing to say it’s your mother. But you can’t ruin your life your future with your sole mate. Let’s say you get a divorce end that chapter. Then your mom passes away what do you have left? It’s hard it very hard but don’t put your wife second and try to make it all work. Maybe you could come home every two weeks. Find an in-home nurse while you leave. When we got her dad a In home nurse to care for his needs it helped relieve my wife. After he passed my wife realized how hard it was and was extremely grateful she still had me and our family to come home to. Just please look into the future and past what is happening in front of you right now. 

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2 hours ago, Voyager said:

Sorry to derail the thread, but I need to talk candidly, and this is the one social media outlet where my wife can't see what I say...

It's looking more and more like I'm going to be going through the Big D, and not Dallas.

Despite my mom's need for assistance with daily life, my wife will NOT consider moving out here to Arizona, and has said there's no use in continuing the marriage. Now, some could say I should move my mom back to PA, but it just doesn't seem feasible.

First, I don't know if she could handle the stress of such a big endeavor in her rather fragile state. She has severe COPD, and in the past was brought back from death during a cardiac arrest. We'd have to sell this house and our house in PA, and try to find a ranch home somewhere. With that in mind, my mom&dad took out a reverse mortgage years ago, so we'd get only 50% of the sale of the AZ home. 

Out of that, there's moving costs, multiple air trips to relocate cars, and probably a short term nursing home until everything was finalized. It would probably take all of us broke doing that.

Really, it's best for my mom to stay here where her doctors all know her condition and her medical needs.

There's much more, including weather, where the cold impedes her breathing capability. Her lungs work at 20% and as such is on 24/7 oxygen. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She'd struggle mightily back there.

On top of that, and the real reason I'm out in AZ, is her macular degeneration. In the photo, she is at stage D, so I am her eyes, her transportation, and her cook and housecleaner.

amd.jpg.9d16f714985df9e6eed90039e5670e35.jpg

There is no way I can stick her in a nursing home, go back to PA, and basically abandon her out here. How do you do that and say, "ok mom, here you go. Have a nice life..."? I can't do that.

So, I guess I needed to vent a bit, and see what you guys think. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I the evil ogre my wife is trying to make me out to be? 

If anyone cares to respond, please DM me so we don't clutter up the thread over my dilemma. 

 

 

I’m sorry voyager.... you are a good guy and I hate you’re in this situation...cannot be easy, but you’re doing right thing.

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Just saw CTP's Facebook post this morning, and they're starting to honk at a good possibility for a plowable event for much of the region midweek. 

And thanks for the responses to my dilemma post. I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it, so putting it out here, and having you guys respond, helps.

Much appreciated!

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1 hour ago, Voyager said:

Just saw CTP's Facebook post this morning, and they're starting to honk at a good possibility for a plowable event for much of the region midweek. 

And thanks for the responses to my dilemma post. I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it, so putting it out here, and having you guys respond, helps.

Much appreciated!

I wish you & your family all of the best at this time. I hope that you are able to work everything out so your family can stay together.

My only advice is to give it all time, and hopefully the best answers will develop.

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32 here....the radar estimated precip is a bit snowier in southern VA than the HRRR or 3K had it. Speaking strictly for myself, being at 32 already with a DP of 28, I am still not thinking we get much to accumulate in my area even if it does fall as snow.  The HRRR has quite a bit more mixed in its panels than it did last evening.   The precip coming in right after the temps max out is not great timing. HRRR has most in the LSV getting into the 40's. 

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7 minutes ago, Bubbler86 said:

32 here....the radar estimated precip is a bit snowier in southern VA than the HRRR or 3K had it. Speaking strictly for myself, being at 32 already with a DP of 28, I am still not thinking we get much to accumulate in my area even if it does fall as snow.  The HRRR has quite a bit more mixed in its panels than it did last evening. 

Interesting model battle for today’s event.

Some have almost nothing in the LSV, but others have a couple of inches by tomorrow am.

The 6z Euro might be the middle ground solution now. The GFS brings most of its snow in the LSV on the back end tomorrow am.

 

 

E8372903-FE31-4C76-AFAB-2345C463098D.png

685835D0-10E9-4A9D-919B-9F0646444637.png

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11 minutes ago, Blizzard of 93 said:

Interesting model battle for today’s event.

Some have almost nothing in the LSV, but others have a couple of inches by tomorrow am.

The 6z Euro might be the middle ground solution now. The GFS brings most of its snow in the LSV on the back end tomorrow am.

 

 

 

 

PS, congrats on the nice win last night. 

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1 minute ago, mahantango#1 said:

Interesting from JB: with the pattern evolving we could be in the battle zone with artic air in the vicinity and the southeast ridge flexing its muscle in the coming weeks. So maybe fun times await.

Yes, and CTP is in the battle ground.

Hopefully we get some more snow opportunities in the coming weeks.

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1 hour ago, pawatch said:

33 degrees and sunny this morning.

You Boyzs in the LSV can’t seem to get any snow this winter.

I really don’t remember a winter like this.

 

Voyager best of luck in whatever you decide.

1CB74D60-43EB-4FAE-A2FD-B1B8F390D864.jpeg

Yep as always this winter failure. CTP basically changed their forecast to rain today. :axe:

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10 hours ago, Albedoman said:

For better or worse. Well she apparently does not know what that means.  My god, going blind and not breathing for a parent is terrifying in any situation and especially to the children and grandchildren. Moving your mother to PA nursing home would be the best option if you want to save your marriage. But if the wife says no, its time to hit the road and live with Mom until the end.  I know my wife would support either one of our parents no matter the situation. We miss them. You wife's parents still alive or have they passed and she simply does not care?  So Sorry

:cry:

x2

Not any easy spot to be in especially w/ the 2 most important women in your life. I'm not offering advice, as I dont know the whole story, but I'm sure you know whats best Steve.

I'd just say....go w/ your gut, cause it's usually right more often than not.

 

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1 hour ago, mahantango#1 said:

Interesting from JB: with the pattern evolving we could be in the battle zone with artic air in the vicinity and the southeast ridge flexing its muscle in the coming weeks. So maybe fun times await.

it makes sense as we have a  cold press working to fight of SER, so somewhere in between becomes the battlezone.  I'm more fearful of the persistent WAR that has been a thorn in our winter side, but hoping things are a little better aligned for us to have some cold close enough for fun in the coming weeks.

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1 hour ago, Blizzard of 93 said:

Interesting model battle for today’s event.

Some have almost nothing in the LSV, but others have a couple of inches by tomorrow am.

The 6z Euro might be the middle ground solution now. The GFS brings most of its snow in the LSV on the back end tomorrow am.

 

That backdoor action has been popping up for the last few model runs (I think bubbler saw it the other day), and hoping it gains momentum as thats the only real chance for us LSV'rs.  

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14 minutes ago, paweather said:

Yep as always this winter failure. CTP basically changed their forecast to rain today. :axe:

I think it fair to see that most of the SE 1/3 of pa never really had enough going for it to be in the game, no matter what model may have shown it.  Cold just isnt deep enough here....even if the SLP track is one that historically would make us moderately giddy in "prime" climo. 

Best case for us is that tomorrow we get some backdoor loving, and then midweek we get some frontdoor action.

 

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1 minute ago, pasnownut said:

I think it fair to see that most of the SE 1/3 of pa never really had enough going for it to be in the game, no matter what model may have shown it.  Cold just isnt deep enough here....even if the SLP track is one that historically would make us moderately giddy in "prime" climo. 

Best case for us is that tomorrow we get some backdoor loving, and then midweek we get some frontdoor action.

 

Agree. Models kept us in the game up until game time. More digi snow but maybe backend luck and then front end on Wednesday. 

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43 minutes ago, paweather said:

Agree. Models kept us in the game up until game time. More digi snow but maybe backend luck and then front end on Wednesday. 

The points about no cold air being around are really spot on.  Just no room for error....still fun to try and find a needle in the haystack (in a realistic way) sometimes vs. just giving up. 

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