Fall Banter and General Discussion

[STILL N OF PIKE]

2 hours ago, powderfreak said:

That statement is what every one of my friend's who has kids say.  

Isn’t that what everyone who is decent has to say thou or at least convince themselves  , Not like you can say “I wish i could go back and not really have them they were a surprise  “ . Not a bad attitude , but to be a good parent I believe you sort of have to think that way . 
 

As a trainer , when I speak with women (they speak- I just Listen/ “Therapy” . I will say with high confidence these days ..the overwhelming majority are looking to get out of the house for any reason to have a break from the kids and the husband and the 24/7 Joy of everyone being home all the time. It’s badddd and it’s manifesting in bottles of wine . For those that were hanging on , or it worked bc they each had their own lives , these are extremely trying times. The wine consumption is the smoking gun

 

 

[weathafella]

6 hours ago, CoastalWx said:

I see a lot of that down here. Some agents not from the area asking for dumb prices. 

We’ve been cold called and offered 1.5M cash and walk away.  I’ll probably regret turning it down one day....

[weathafella]

Kids aren’t for everyone.  I had my oldest at 31 and my youngest at 52.  But I’ve enjoyed raising all of them.  By the time our daughter came (different mom) I was entering peak earning years.  She’s traveled and worked all over the world which my sons age 43 amd 40 did not get to do to the same extent.  The one thing that made it possible has been being blessed with good health.  That’s a combination luck and some ok choices.

[RUNNAWAYICEBERG]

Cool stories. Refreshing. Kids are a challenge. There are highs and lows but that’s kind of the fun part, figuring it out and trying to be a better parent by effing them up less than our parents did to us. The journey of shaping a life is super rewarding though. Not everyone wants that nor would enjoy it and that’s fine too. Anyone who’s gone thru parenting probably wished at some point had they chosen a different path. My wife and I both have, ha...but that type of honesty and playfulness makes us closer. I think. 

[HIPPYVALLEY]

3 hours ago, WhitinsvilleWX said:

Eh, I was 45 when my youngest was born. My wife was 38. You have time.

Yup!  Old daddies are wise daddies!

[HIPPYVALLEY]

Doesn’t really matter whether you have a child or not, just live a good life and when you have a chance to have a positive influence in a young humans life, be present and enjoy. 

[CoastalWx]

6 hours ago, HIPPYVALLEY said:

Doesn’t really matter whether you have a child or not, just live a good life and when you have a chance to have a positive influence in a young humans life, be present and enjoy. 

The more time goes by, the more people just need to show some humanity. Be kind.....whatever that entails. Don’t be an asshole. I find myself getting more and more disgusted with how we typically act as a society. Just be the better person. You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, but you’d be surprised what words like thank you mean to the person taking your drive through order.

[HoarfrostHubb]

Try walking in the shoes of your fellow man or woman.  

[Baroclinic Zone]

1 hour ago, CoastalWx said:

The more time goes by, the more people just need to show some humanity. Be kind.....whatever that entails. Don’t be an asshole. I find myself getting more and more disgusted with how we typically act as a society. Just be the better person. You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, but you’d be surprised what words like thank you mean to the person taking your drive through order.

 

43 minutes ago, HoarfrostHubb said:

Try walking in the shoes of your fellow man or woman.  

It’s called empathy and it’s something many severely lack.

[OceanStWx]

1 hour ago, CoastalWx said:

The more time goes by, the more people just need to show some humanity. Be kind.....whatever that entails. Don’t be an asshole. I find myself getting more and more disgusted with how we typically act as a society. Just be the better person. You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, but you’d be surprised what words like thank you mean to the person taking your drive through order.

I'll be sure to thank you when I steal all your snow this winter.

[RUNNAWAYICEBERG]

1 hour ago, HoarfrostHubb said:

Try walking in the shoes of your fellow man or woman.  

This. Empathy leads to compassion.

[HoarfrostHubb]

51 minutes ago, Baroclinic Zone said:

 

It’s called empathy and it’s something many severely lack.

Yup.  Particularly noticeable in these times.  

[OceanStWx]

12 hours ago, powderfreak said:

That statement is what every one of my friend's who has kids say.  Though they also say if you wait till you think you are financially ready, you will never have them.

I was mostly worried I would be a terrible parent. I've never been a kid person. I don't love other people's children, but boy do I love mine. None of it is easy, but I'll always be amazed at how instantly my whole world revolved around that little guy.

Like Will said, underrated funny, but also underrated how much fun it is to watch them learn things. We have a 3'x4' USA puzzle, and I could sit for hours and watch him put it together. He's 2 and half and doesn't even need my help anymore. Gets all the edges done and then knows where all the states go (the Northeast is two big pieces so he gets a couple strokes for the little states ). 

[PowderBeard]

15 hours ago, WhitinsvilleWX said:

An MD/PhD will for sure beat the hell out of you. 

I cannot even imagine. That is a whole other level mental and physical challenge.

14 hours ago, WhitinsvilleWX said:

One of the pluses to waiting is that you generally have your career in hand and aren’t so poor!

By the time we had kids we weren’t struggling to get by. I was making good money, stable job, and could afford good shit instead of trying to raise kids in a tiny apartment eating ramen off of a card table. 
I was kind of unique in that I didn’t need loans. PhD was paid for by the school and the MD was paid for out of someone else’s pocket. Not everyone has that advantage. 

The rule is NEVER pay for a PhD, it will ruin you financially for the rest of your life. If I was not fully funded (tuition waiver and great pay for teaching/research) my PhD would cost about $300k (many grad students only like to think they are only getting paid 20-40k a year for working 60+ hour weeks and forget that 30-50k tuition waiver). That is med school debt while never sniffing MD or upper level JD income. There are many that attend grad school "degree mills" and once they graduate they are unable to get licensed in ______ field or will never make more than 60k per year while taking out hundreds of thousands in student loans. There is no coming back from that since you keep your student debt even if you file for bankruptcy. Even when I interviewed at the notorious Ivy League school in Massachusetts, their "full funding package" was not enough to live anywhere near Cambridge without taking out a ton in loans (probably 60-80k). Meanwhile, that lab was taking in millions in grants, had a full bar, kitchen, three bedrooms, and industrial espresso machine. 

One thing I have learned about grad school is it is close to impossible to get through if you don't have some sort of supports and the majority of bosses/supervisors are understanding. I have two years left of my training and my wife and I had our first last year. She has a great job that she loves and if it was not for that we would have never been in a place financially to buy a home or have a child. Our 14 month old is home with me full time while I teach/attend meetings/supervise/complete my research projects. Thankfully my department is AMAZING, supportive, and has a lot of research resources (I can easily get undergrad research assistants to help on projects). The only reason I am able to even be in grad school is because of my wife and department - as they are far from the stereotypical academic ivory tower. 

 

[Lava Rock]

The rule is NEVER pay for a PhD, it will ruin you financially for the rest of your life. If I was not fully funded (tuition waiver and great pay for teaching/research) my PhD would cost about $300k (many grad students only like to think they are only getting paid 20-40k a year for working 60+ hour weeks and forget that 30-50k tuition waiver). That is med school debt while never sniffing MD or upper level JD income. There are many that attend grad school "degree mills" and once they graduate they are unable to get licensed in ______ field or will never make more than 60k per year while taking out hundreds of thousands in student loans. There is no coming back from that since you keep your student debt even if you file for bankruptcy. Even when I interviewed at the notorious Ivy League school in Massachusetts, their "full funding package" was not enough to live anywhere near Cambridge without taking out a ton in loans (probably 60-80k). Meanwhile, that lab was taking in millions in grants, had a full bar, kitchen, three bedrooms, and industrial espresso machine. 
One thing I have learned about grad school is it is close to impossible to get through if you don't have some sort of supports and the majority of bosses/supervisors are understanding. I have two years left of my training and my wife and I had our first last year. She has a great job that she loves and if it was not for that we would have never been in a place financially to buy a home or have a child. Our 14 month old is home with me full time while I teach/attend meetings/supervise/complete my research projects. Thankfully my department is AMAZING, supportive, and has a lot of research resources (I can easily get undergrad research assistants to help on projects). The only reason I am able to even be in grad school is because of my wife and department - as they are far from the stereotypical academic ivory tower. 
 

Yup. Didn't pay a dime for my doctorate. Taught undergrad lab courses which earned me the tuition waiver and got a 20K stipend every year from my advisor for 5 yrs. I actually lived a pretty good life financially while in grad school.

[OceanStWx]

12 minutes ago, Lava Rock said:

Yup. Didn't pay a dime for my doctorate. Taught undergrad lab courses which earned me the tuition waiver and got a 20K stipend every year from my advisor for 5 yrs. I actually lived a pretty good life financially while in grad school.

Undergrad was definitely my loan load, I had a similar arrangement with my MS. I don't think I was clearing 20k in stipend, but didn't pay a dime for classes otherwise (unless you want to count about $800 for a semester to extend my eligibility while writing my thesis). I lived in a cheap studio in Lowell near the Chelmsford line, and my sole goal was getting into the NWS. 

Even still I was lucky to have the job but no equity, but my wife was lucky to own her condo. So between the two of us we could flip that into a house. 

My biggest mistake was probably deferring my loans while I was in grad school. I probably should've found a way to pay the principal down. Only cost me a couple additional years of payments, but man it feels good to have that anchor gone.

[Typhoon Tip]

Holy Tony Robbins with journey through self-empowerment and positive thinking ..  - y'allz killin' his bottom line while his conference halls vacate and opt in here instead for free expose' lol

[Cold Miser]

A bit late to the party, but having kids was/ is great.  Me and my (now ex) wife had both of our children at our early 30’s. I am 50 now and my daughter is 20, and my son is 18.  Those early years of wonder and excitement with children are amazing…The toddler years through 12 or so.  Unfortunately for me I went through a prolonged dark period that I think prevented me from really taking full advantage of some of those fun time periods.  I did my best, and I think that both of them turned out o.k.

As far as the work aspect goes, for the most part I think many of us are not completely happy with the work choices we have made. Juggling work choices and family are not easy, and if you are stuck doing work that you are not happy with it makes the journey tougher.  Many times it is too late…We are sent out on the conveyor belt of college…work…family, and before you know it, decades have passed by at warp speed, and you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, and wondering what just happened, where did the time go, etc.  As noted here, some people don’t take that path.  They are able to go down that less traveled, back woods, tree filled slope, and find happiness (with or without kids/ family).  That was not my path.  For me, work 9-5 and family seemed like the mission that I had to accept whether I wanted it or not. I don’t regret it, but I do wish there was a bit more guidance, particularly on the working front

Right after college we moved to DC, and lived there for over 3 years.  The plan was always to make it back to New England to be near family, so when the time was right we came back and lived outside of Boston. Right on schedule we had kids, and kept moving forward at a breakneck pace.  Architecture was not the best choice for me, but I took the grueling 9 part exam, and am licensed. Like most professional fields of work it is nowhere near asglamorous it seems.  There was even a point where I thought I was going to break away from it...

I have always wanted the simple life of owning a small pub, or bed and breakfast type of establishment, but it just was not in the cards.  After my brother died in 2004 my wife and I embarked on a 3 month northeast tour to find bed and breakfast that we could own.  The journey was unsuccessful, and ended with us moving from the Boston area to Connecticut.  I often wonder about these types of choices, and how things would be different if I did this, or did that.

The choice of having kids is a HUGE one, a game changer.  For some it is not the right move.  I am extremely happy that children are a part of my life.  Other life choices not so much, but if I went back in time, I would still have children.

[bch2014]

I went to college in Texas (and lived there for 18 months post grad) but grew up in the Boston area and now live in New York. I’m now almost 25... It’s amazing to see the “maturity” level between my friends from TX and my friends from growing up... Many of my TX friends are married and/or engaged... and even a few are having kids. Meanwhile, many of my friends from growing up are still “finding themselves” career wise and living at home. Maybe coincidental, maybe cultural... I don’t know. 
 

I’m somewhere in between-I’m single but have had a lot of career advancement relatively speaking for only being 3 years out of school.

 

[PhineasC]

16 minutes ago, bch2014 said:

I went to college in Texas (and lived there for 18 months post grad) but grew up in the Boston area and now live in New York. I’m now almost 25... It’s amazing to see the “maturity” level between my friends from TX and my friends from growing up... Many of my TX friends are married and/or engaged... and even a few are having kids. Meanwhile, many of my friends from growing up are still “finding themselves” career wise and living at home. Maybe coincidental, maybe cultural... I don’t know. 
 

I’m somewhere in between-I’m single but have had a lot of career advancement relatively speaking for only being 3 years out of school.

 

There are exceptions to every rule, but it seems safe to conclude that those who wait until their 30s or early 40s to really get in gear with establishing a career and accumulating wealth end up quite a bit poorer in the end than those who start 10-15 years earlier. It makes intuitive sense, of course, but it's also been established via long-running experience by many people. Basically every single "life coach" out there will tell you getting rolling in your 20s is important if your goal is to own a home, 2 cars, kids, and build wealth for fairly early retirement. I think the generic advice people give these days is that it's fine to basically be in extended young adulthood through your 20s and 30s until you are nearly 40 while you "find yourself." I find that to be pretty bad advice for anyone who has a dream of building wealth and having a major, meaningful career. Those I know nearing 40 who are still considering their options for what they want to be later in life clearly missed the boat and are behind. Once they hit their 50s they will realize they are well behind their peers. This stuff tends to compound with age.

I might be what some would call a "high-strung" person, but when I see someone at age 38 saying "One day I would like to get married, own a home, have kids, and work in <x> field" I have to cringe. It's at least a decade late to be having these thoughts...

[natedizel]

Just now, PhineasC said:

There are exceptions to every rule, but it seems safe to conclude that those who wait until their 30s or early 40s to really get in gear with establishing a career and accumulating wealth end up quite a bit poorer in the end than those who start 10-15 years earlier. It makes intuitive sense, of course, but it's also been established via long-running experience by many people. Basically every single "life coach" out there will tell you getting rolling in your 20s is important if your goal is to own a home, 2 cars, kids, and build wealth for fairly early retirement. I think the generic advice people give these days is that it's fine to basically be in extended young adulthood through your 20s and 30s until you are nearly 40 while you "find yourself." I find that to be pretty bad advice for anyone who has a dream of building wealth and having a major, meaningful career. Those I know nearing 40 who are still considering their options for what they want to be later in life clearly missed the boat and are behind. Once they hit their 50s they will realize they are well behind their peers. This stuff tends to compound with age.

I might be what some would call a "high-strung" person, but when I see someone at age 38 saying "One day I would like to get married, own a home, have kids, and work in <x> field" I have to cringe. It's at least a decade late to be having these thoughts...

Some people just have a hard time finding something passionate or never find it. I myself have a hard time even though I married and have a kid.

I cant help but always thinking "what is it I enjoy and can make money off of". If I could only find that thing I wouldnt be working anymore.

[BuffaloWeather]

12 minutes ago, PhineasC said:

There are exceptions to every rule, but it seems safe to conclude that those who wait until their 30s or early 40s to really get in gear with establishing a career and accumulating wealth end up quite a bit poorer in the end than those who start 10-15 years earlier. It makes intuitive sense, of course, but it's also been established via long-running experience by many people. Basically every single "life coach" out there will tell you getting rolling in your 20s is important if your goal is to own a home, 2 cars, kids, and build wealth for fairly early retirement. I think the generic advice people give these days is that it's fine to basically be in extended young adulthood through your 20s and 30s until you are nearly 40 while you "find yourself." I find that to be pretty bad advice for anyone who has a dream of building wealth and having a major, meaningful career. Those I know nearing 40 who are still considering their options for what they want to be later in life clearly missed the boat and are behind. Once they hit their 50s they will realize they are well behind their peers. This stuff tends to compound with age.

I might be what some would call a "high-strung" person, but when I see someone at age 38 saying "One day I would like to get married, own a home, have kids, and work in <x> field" I have to cringe. It's at least a decade late to be having these thoughts...

It goes both ways. I work in retirement and see people all the time in their 60s and 70s who have all the money in the world and never got to really "live" life. They're too frail to travel the world and hike the tallest mountains. Many people save their entire life pinching pennies and die before they're ever able to use it. My advice. Go live, tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Just from experience last year my mom went to doctors with bad sinus infection and the doctor saw a lump on her head. A week later after an MRI and Cat scan, she had stage 4 nasopharyngeal cancer that was near her brain. She is 55. She's fighting, but likely won't make it to 65. Completely healthy, no symptoms, never smoked.

[bch2014]

20 minutes ago, PhineasC said:

There are exceptions to every rule, but it seems safe to conclude that those who wait until their 30s or early 40s to really get in gear with establishing a career and accumulating wealth end up quite a bit poorer in the end than those who start 10-15 years earlier. It makes intuitive sense, of course, but it's also been established via long-running experience by many people. Basically every single "life coach" out there will tell you getting rolling in your 20s is important if your goal is to own a home, 2 cars, kids, and build wealth for fairly early retirement. I think the generic advice people give these days is that it's fine to basically be in extended young adulthood through your 20s and 30s until you are nearly 40 while you "find yourself." I find that to be pretty bad advice for anyone who has a dream of building wealth and having a major, meaningful career. Those I know nearing 40 who are still considering their options for what they want to be later in life clearly missed the boat and are behind. Once they hit their 50s they will realize they are well behind their peers. This stuff tends to compound with age.

I might be what some would call a "high-strung" person, but when I see someone at age 38 saying "One day I would like to get married, own a home, have kids, and work in <x> field" I have to cringe. It's at least a decade late to be having these thoughts...

Yeah, I totally agree with building wealth early. The 18% of my paycheck that I save every two weeks will amount to far more than if I started saving 25% 10 years from now... But also lucky that I don’t have student loans, have a relatively high salary, etc... It’s not a one-size fits all approach. 

[J.Spin]

2 hours ago, Lava Rock said:

3 hours ago, PowderBeard said:

The rule is NEVER pay for a PhD, it will ruin you financially for the rest of your life. If I was not fully funded (tuition waiver and great pay for teaching/research) my PhD would cost about $300k (many grad students only like to think they are only getting paid 20-40k a year for working 60+ hour weeks and forget that 30-50k tuition waiver). That is med school debt while never sniffing MD or upper level JD income. There are many that attend grad school "degree mills" and once they graduate they are unable to get licensed in ______ field or will never make more than 60k per year while taking out hundreds of thousands in student loans. There is no coming back from that since you keep your student debt even if you file for bankruptcy. Even when I interviewed at the notorious Ivy League school in Massachusetts, their "full funding package" was not enough to live anywhere near Cambridge without taking out a ton in loans (probably 60-80k). Meanwhile, that lab was taking in millions in grants, had a full bar, kitchen, three bedrooms, and industrial espresso machine. 
One thing I have learned about grad school is it is close to impossible to get through if you don't have some sort of supports and the majority of bosses/supervisors are understanding. I have two years left of my training and my wife and I had our first last year. She has a great job that she loves and if it was not for that we would have never been in a place financially to buy a home or have a child. Our 14 month old is home with me full time while I teach/attend meetings/supervise/complete my research projects. Thankfully my department is AMAZING, supportive, and has a lot of research resources (I can easily get undergrad research assistants to help on projects). The only reason I am able to even be in grad school is because of my wife and department - as they are far from the stereotypical academic ivory tower. 
 

Yup. Didn't pay a dime for my doctorate. Taught undergrad lab courses which earned me the tuition waiver and got a 20K stipend every year from my advisor for 5 yrs. I actually lived a pretty good life financially while in grad school.

Yeah, your experience is probably more the norm; it’s what I experienced, and it’s the case for just about every student I’ve known.  I definitely disagreed with some of Powderbeard’s comments, but it looks like he’s coming from a perspective of going a more non-traditional route, in what sounds like a very expensive place to live.  For the typical Ph.D. student in the biomedical sciences, the standard stipend is plenty to get by on and have a pretty good life as you note.  I think the stipend for our students next year is around $32K, which is plenty to live on in the BTV area when you’re single, in your early 20s, have a couple roommates, etc.  It’s just not a number that you’d want to live on if you’re going to raise a family, own and maintain a house, set yourself up for retirement, etc., etc.  The system isn’t really set up for that sort of situation.

[TauntonBlizzard2013]

I’m the first of my friends to get married and own a home, at 26.

They have pretty good jobs, but are more the partying type. I’m not, so we are a bit different in that regard.

[DavisStraight]

57 minutes ago, natedizel said:

Some people just have a hard time finding something passionate or never find it. I myself have a hard time even though I married and have a kid.

I cant help but always thinking "what is it I enjoy and can make money off of". If I could only find that thing I wouldnt be working anymore.

At 28 was when I had the revelation, felt like time was running out and better get serious. I did and it worked out. Tended bar from 18-28, had a blast though.

[weathafella]

Every metric shows clearly that starting to invest particularly in retirement early will enable accumulation of much more wealth earlier in life.  I didn’t start seriously until 40 and hence worked until 73.  I’m damned lucky to have stayed healthy but that said I’ve enjoyed world travel, many of the finer things in life, and a fulfilling career.  I climbed high mountains frequently throughout my life.  I still can do plenty but the pandemic limits travel.  Nevertheless our lifestyle is the same as when I was working full time thanks to maintaining strong discipline in putting tens of thousands away year after year.

[OceanStWx]

20 minutes ago, weathafella said:

Every metric shows clearly that starting to invest particularly in retirement early will enable accumulation of much more wealth earlier in life.  I didn’t start seriously until 40 and hence worked until 73.  I’m damned lucky to have stayed healthy but that said I’ve enjoyed world travel, many of the finer things in life, and a fulfilling career.  I climbed high mountains frequently throughout my life.  I still can do plenty but the pandemic limits travel.  Nevertheless our lifestyle is the same as when I was working full time thanks to maintaining strong discipline in putting tens of thousands away year after year.

My father in law started my wife investing in her teens, just putting a little away every month. Despite my salary advantage her 10 year head start probably has our accounts even at this point. 

[Baroclinic Zone]

3 hours ago, Cold Miser said:

A bit late to the party, but having kids was/ is great.  Me and my (now ex) wife had both of our children at our early 30’s. I am 50 now and my daughter is 20, and my son is 18.  Those early years of wonder and excitement with children are amazing…The toddler years through 12 or so.  Unfortunately for me I went through a prolonged dark period that I think prevented me from really taking full advantage of some of those fun time periods.  I did my best, and I think that both of them turned out o.k.

As far as the work aspect goes, for the most part I think many of us are not completely happy with the work choices we have made. Juggling work choices and family are not easy, and if you are stuck doing work that you are not happy with it makes the journey tougher.  Many times it is too late…We are sent out on the conveyor belt of college…work…family, and before you know it, decades have passed by at warp speed, and you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, and wondering what just happened, where did the time go, etc.  As noted here, some people don’t take that path.  They are able to go down that less traveled, back woods, tree filled slope, and find happiness (with or without kids/ family).  That was not my path.  For me, work 9-5 and family seemed like the mission that I had to accept whether I wanted it or not. I don’t regret it, but I do wish there was a bit more guidance, particularly on the working front

Right after college we moved to DC, and lived there for over 3 years.  The plan was always to make it back to New England to be near family, so when the time was right we came back and lived outside of Boston. Right on schedule we had kids, and kept moving forward at a breakneck pace.  Architecture was not the best choice for me, but I took the grueling 9 part exam, and am licensed. Like most professional fields of work it is nowhere near asglamorous it seems.  There was even a point where I thought I was going to break away from it...

I have always wanted the simple life of owning a small pub, or bed and breakfast type of establishment, but it just was not in the cards.  After my brother died in 2004 my wife and I embarked on a 3 month northeast tour to find bed and breakfast that we could own.  The journey was unsuccessful, and ended with us moving from the Boston area to Connecticut.  I often wonder about these types of choices, and how things would be different if I did this, or did that.

The choice of having kids is a HUGE one, a game changer.  For some it is not the right move.  I am extremely happy that children are a part of my life.  Other life choices not so much, but if I went back in time, I would still have children.

How long ago you take the ARE?  It’s 6 exams now and my wife is 1/2 way thru now and I’ll be taking it once she’s finished, most likely next year.  Little late to that party, but if I’m looking to take over for my boss, I have to take the exams.

[powderfreak]

2 hours ago, BuffaloWeather said:

It goes both ways. I work in retirement and see people all the time in their 60s and 70s who have all the money in the world and never got to really "live" life. They're too frail to travel the world and hike the tallest mountains. Many people save their entire life pinching pennies and die before they're ever able to use it. My advice. Go live, tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Just from experience last year my mom went to doctors with bad sinus infection and the doctor saw a lump on her head. A week later after an MRI and Cat scan, she had stage 4 nasopharyngeal cancer that was near her brain. She is 55. She's fighting, but likely won't make it to 65. Completely healthy, no symptoms, never smoked.

Hope the best for your mom.  Sorry dude.

That first paragraph really resonates with me as that’s been my life thought process.  I feel very fortunate to have truly enjoyed doing things that bring me joy.  I also knew at a relatively young age what brought me joy and it feels selfish, but I guess the decision was not to deny myself that during a time of my life when my body could do it.  My wife is different and always says she’s jealous that I know what makes me click.