My Weather Demo Tape

[WxJordan]

Hello everyone!

I am posting this to show the demo tape that I made to send to television stations to help find a broadcast meteorology job. I graduated last week from UNC-Asheville with a Bachelor of Science in atmospheric science.

 

The job market right now is very competitive, and any small errors can cause someone to be denied for a job.

 

I would like for you to please critique the tape, good and/or bad, to help me correct the errors. This will help me to hopefully be able to find a job doing what I love.

 

All comments, good and/or bad, are appreciated! Thank you for your time.

 

[tnweathernut]

You are not allowed to leave the southeast, you do know that, right? haha.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[kvegas-wx]

Jordan, being that my expertise is more in line with presentation skills than weather, here is my two cents. First, i love the energy and passion. From the snippets included though it seemed like every cut had an urgency in the delivery. I felt exhausted after watching. If you have anything more "low key" that you could include i would recommend showing the other side of your delivery. On a local level I would compare against Van Denton for example. Nationally maybe Al Roker vs. Cantori. Cantori exudes nonstop energy and passion which is great for a tv show about weather. But I dont think that will play well when you are talking about a weeks worth of 60's and sunny.

So I recommend sharing the energetic Jordan along with the calm demeanor Jordan. (Imagine you are talking to your grandparents). Lol.

Nice work and congrats on the degree. You are on your way!

[mackerel_sky]

Everything looked good. You looked a little uncomfortable and fidgety , but that gets better with time. I'm not a suit kind of guy , I don't own one, but yours look a little too big or not just right. Your info delivery and knowledge shows well though! And I very much enjoy reading your posts and thoughts on this forum. Send one of those tapes to Fox Carolina in Greenville, SC. We need a good replacement for Andy Wood! Good luck!

[calculus1]

Jordan, congratulations again on the degree!  It's also quite courageous and bold to post this video for all to critique and offer suggestions/comments.  Like kvegas-wx, I don't feel qualified to comment too much on your weather knowledge.  That part sounded fine to me.  However, from what I understand, broadcast media can be a cut-throat world.  The biggest suggestion I would offer is that you work on your diction, especially with regards to the long vowel i.  Growing up in Caldwell County, not too far from Hildebran, I'm quite familiar with the local drawl, but other parts of the country might not be as receptive.

 

Best wishes, and I hope you land that job you're looking for.

[BullCityWx]

Mr. bob would be a good source of advice. So would Matthew East.

[Cold Rain]

Hey bud, so overall, great job. It's obvious that you know your stuff. You come across as knowledgeable, friendly, and approachable. That will really serve to build your credibility with both a potential audience and potential employer. But that's only part of the equation.

It's likely that starting out, you'll be in a small market, and there's a good probability that you'll change markets and locations throughout your career. Given that, you should be prepared to be in markets outside the SE. Given that, it would be a good use of time/energy/resources to work on lessening the accent and making sure that the grammar is on point. Runnin', slidin' divin', etc. are ok in casual talk, but be sure and add the Gs for TV. "Have vs has" and "is vs are" are a couple of examples that stood out on the grammar side.

Part of it (and this is what you'll get much more comfortable with by practicing) is that by the nature of your segment, you have to try to cram a lot of info into a little space. That's probably the main driver behind the fast-paced, overly-energetic style -- a hurdle to someone just starting out but not one that can't be easily defeated with planning and practice -- and the occasional grammatical miscue. Think "SLOWER". Sometimes less is more.

You augment those things and continue to spend time in front of the green monster, then you'll have a great presentation to compliment your expertise and skill. And that's the framework for a successful, on-camera meteorologist.

Congratulations again on you degree, and good luck. You're going to be great!

[CAD_Wedge_NC]

Looked good..... I would just try to slow down and relax a bit, but I am sure that will come with time served. Overall, not bad.

[KChuck]

I was living north of Scranton a 'few years ago'   when I got to witness Greg Fishel on Penn State's public tv channel giving his first appearance as a tv weatherman. He was fumbling and stuttering and VERY nervous. I agree with cold rain's and my neighbor kvegas-wx's statements. The best weather people are accent free. Congrats and good luck!

[jburns]

Nice job. Lots of good here.  The most serious problem from the view of a station manager would be diction. I'll try and give you a few examples of the areas I am talking about.

 

0:17  Some of our computer models have it movin riiiight on through and racin up the east coast.

 

0:20  weakening a lil bit

 

1:18  clouds streamin up from the South

 

1:25  movin out of

 

1:44 Arctic air mass is comin

 

1:57 sent in this pitcher

 

2:03 We always love to see your pitchers

 

3:51 Graphic problem. Obvious incorrect temperature for Winston-Salem

 

5:32  other things thats gonna be happening

 

6:32 20 to 30 mile an hour

 

 

 BTW my wife told me to stop because, and I quote, "You'll crush that boys spirit."  Please accept this post as my attempt to be helpful.  As I stated above, there is a lot of good going on here but pointing that out doesn't help you at all.  I think you will be fine.

[WxJordan]

Thank you everyone for the critiques!!! They are very helpful in helping me to make my presentation the best it can be.

The television business is a very difficult and challenging business.

 

jburns, I do not mind the criticisms and critiques. That is what I want and I am grateful that you took the time to watch the tape and give feedback. I am going to go back and edit out the bad parts. So, if you have any others suggestions or anything else you notice, please be sure to let me know. Trust me, I am my own biggest critique. 

 

Cold Rain, thank you for the compliments. I always attempt to come across as very personal and authentic, and I am glad you noticed it. I agree that I try to cram so much information into the weathercast that it causes some of the grammatical errors. I am constantly trying to be sure to pronunciation the "g" on the ends of the words. I counted three in the first three minutes, so I will need to go back and edit those out. The first three minutes are the most important part of the tape, so it would be nice to limit the amount of errors in the first three minutes.

 

calculus1, The long "i", I am working to resolve this. I am also attempting to work on my diction. I have came a long way already, and I don't plan to turn back now.

 

kvegas, CAD, mackrel, My heart races around 120 when I get in front of that green wall, and I am sure you can sense it. The strange part is that I am not nervous, it is I am so keyed up and excited about doing what I love to do. I have always enjoyed public presentations, so I always get very excited whenever I get a chance to give them. Now that feeling when I am on 18 ahead by one shot with a three foot putt to win, now that is nerves.    But, I will definitely try to tone it down a little bit.

 

Chuck, Thanks for letting me know how Greg Fishel was in college. I can not imagine him nervous as smooth and eloquent he delivers the weather. I will try to work on my accent, but total removal will be very difficult.

 

Thank you guys so much for your comments so far. I look forward to reading others comments as they get a chance to watch the video. I will be making a second video at some point with hopefully better things in it.

[mackerel_sky]

If you want to look at what I think is " over" annunciation and such , check out Vivian Brown, on TWC

[jburns]

If you want to look at what I think is " over" annunciation and such , check out Vivian Brown, on TWC

 

lol  I remember back in the beginning when she learned the term, Atlantic Basin.  She managed to work it into every segment for several months.  As you said, she still overdoes but she is at least 1000x better then when she started.

[Cold Rain]

lol I remember back in the beginning when she learned the term, Atlantic Basin. She managed to work it into every segment for several months. As you said, she still overdoes but she is at least 1000x better then when she started.

The thing that I noticed all the time with her was the word "temperature". She said "tampechur" or something like that.

[KChuck]

We just had our Christmas play/musical at church. I worked a lot on the stage crew in high school and watched plays put on by a former Broadway backup person... on original stage versions of Oklahoma and South Pacific and listed as singer on the original play albums, but I digress. I worked with some of the kids getting them to slow down, pause between thoughts, and enunciate. Some of what I learned from those times was that when you speak in front of a crowd for the first time (real or virtual as in your case), you have a tendency to get nervous and speed up, and the listener may or may not hear...you need to slow down, then the listener may listen but still not hear, in that they can hear the words but not have time to digest their meaning, so if you slow down more, give an adequate pause between points you're trying to make and enunciate clearly (regardless of accent! ), they will not only be able to listen but also be able to HEAR what you're saying. See what I mean about pausing between sentences and thoughts? Don't recall you doing that but something that happens when nervous (at least  to me!). I think this make the biggest difference in successful and unsuccessful speakers. Did not mention before but your content presentation was spot on I thought.

 

Thank you everyone for the critiques!!! They are very helpful in helping me to make my presentation the best it can be.

The television business is a very difficult and challenging business.

 

,,,,,

 

kvegas, CAD, mackrel, My heart races around 120 when I get in front of that green wall, and I am sure you can sense it. The strange part is that I am not nervous, it is I am so keyed up and excited about doing what I love to do. I have always enjoyed public presentations, so I always get very excited whenever I get a chance to give them. Now that feeling when I am on 18 ahead by one shot with a three foot putt to win, now that is nerves.    But, I will definitely try to tone it down a little bit.

 

Chuck, Thanks for letting me know how Greg Fishel was in college. I can not imagine him nervous as smooth and eloquent he delivers the weather. I will try to work on my accent, but total removal will be very difficult.

 

Thank you guys so much for your comments so far. I look forward to reading others comments as they get a chance to watch the video. I will be making a second video at some point with hopefully better things in it.

[Southern Track]

Jordan, I think you have a bright future ahead of you!  You obviously love the weather, and you really come off enthusiastic so you get the viewer's attention.

 

I agree with some of the other posts.  Being from the South as well, I had to clean up alot of my pronunciation with words as I went through school.  I talk face to face with a lot of people everyday, and I can't revert back to my southern draw and diction. 

 

It just comes down to practice.   You'll get better with time, but so far looking good.

 

You ought to give John Cessarich a call, at Wyff4 of the Upstate.  IMO,  he's one of the best TV mets out there.  He's a real personable guy as well.

[mercurydime]

The whole "accent" thing seems a bit 'prejudicial' to me.  A southern accent has worked well for many people in media.  I do radio, and have for the last 24 years. I have felt to no need to 'change' it.  Actually, I am quite proud of my heritage and upbringing.  Good luck to you.  You're going to do just fine, accent or not.  Remember: if all else fails, just be who you are.

[burgertime]

I work in creative services and do a lot of video. One thing that is hard to coach is making things feel natural. This of course comes with time and just getting a "feel" for what you're doing on a day to day basis. I've always liked Jeff Crum on News14 as he has a very natural calm demeanor on TV. Eric Thomas is great as well as he has a very energetic personality type. Both feel like if you met them in a bar for a drink that is who they would be there. I think Kvegas nailed it, you're coming off a little too "forced" with the energy. That's probably due to nerves/lack of experience. In some respects it's a little stilted. Sometimes actors get that way when they are simply trying to hard to impress instead of just feeling the role and letting themselves be the role (sorry that probably makes no sense I just don't know how else to say it).

I've never worked TV news or anything but weather and sports always seems to be a good mix of improve. When practicing a script in your head you often write it out first. When you write it then read it you can tell it's been written as we often rarely talk how we actually write. This can sometimes trip us up. One example I noticed and it happened often was where you would say something like, "we always enjoy to have those pictures coming in". It should have read, "we love getting your pictures here at _____", saying, "we always enjoy" or just "we enjoy" just personally doesn't sound natural or conversational. My guess would be you added "to" in that line because you may have subconsciously realized it didn't quite sound right when it came out. Getting used to just talking naturally is one of the hardest things to figure out especially when it's crunch time. 

 

When writing TV ad's my boss would always say, "you're nerding this up". Just remember that most of your viewers probably do not have a big vocabulary so try to convert the nerdism of weather into their language (you are not doing a bad job at this just something to remember and always work on). In the end it's probably going to be finding a good mix and being versatile. A good test might be to just do two or three totally ad-libbed runs using a template that looks something like below and just see how you do without any practice (outside of just getting familiar with the graphics).

Local Temps

 

Current weather

 

This weekend

 

Future weather

[FallsLake]

Looked great!! You look and sound just like a regular weather man. Are you considering other meteorological positions outside of broadcasting; like the National Weather Service?

[WxJordan]

Thank you burger for the comments. All of the tapes are ad-libbed, and the only time I wrote something out was when I was giving snowfall reports. Eric Thomas is one of the best meteorologist in the country. The way he is able to just talk to you and communicate is amazing, and I hope as time progresses I can become more like him. I will definitely try to relax and present the weather in a more conversational type of way, like I am talking to my grandparents.

 

mercury, Thank you so much for the accent compliment. When I have sent my video from meteorologist, they either like the accent and see no need to suppress or suggest that I need to try to suppress it. So, it is just personal taste.

 

Thank you Falls, and yes, I am keeping all of my options open as I am applying for jobs. 

 

Once again, thank you for all the critiques and comments! They are greatly appreciated everyone.   

[burgertime]

Thank you burger for the comments. All of the tapes are ad-libbed, and the only time I wrote something out was when I was giving snowfall reports. Eric Thomas is one of the best meteorologist in the country. The way he is able to just talk to you and communicate is amazing, and I hope as time progresses I can become more like him. I will definitely try to relax and present the weather in a more conversational type of way, like I am talking to my grandparents.

 

mercury, Thank you so much for the accent compliment. When I have sent my video from meteorologist, they either like the accent and see no need to suppress or suggest that I need to try to suppress it. So, it is just personal taste.

 

Thank you Falls, and yes, I am keeping all of my options open as I am applying for jobs. 

 

Once again, thank you for all the critiques and comments! They are greatly appreciated everyone.   

 

Interesting about doing it all ad lib. Maybe you should do the opposite and start giving yourself a few specific phrases. I can def. see how those stumbles could be due to your brain working overtime to come up with something on the spot.

It's probably only truly important if you're going before a truly national audience. Even then current stats probably show it doesn't really matter. I mean for goodness sake everyone loves Kelly Pickler and she has as much of a southern draw as anyone. For news these days I would have to think the focus is on personality over cadence. 

[mercurydime]

You are welcome, Jordan.  I am with jburns on the diction, and I'll throw in grammar as a concern.  We both hail from the same part of the world here, and having taught language (Latin and English) for 25 years, I can tell you that grammar is one of the most formidable obstacles people face when pursuing the benefits of 'ethical appeal' (the other appeals are the rational/logical and the emotional).  Grammar is difficult to teach because...well...it's not fraught with excitement, that's for sure!  In our part of the world here, what we hear and what's correct in usage are too many times on divergent paths!

 

You might want to look into verb tenses (especially past or 'perfect'), and its forms, concentrating on which verb parts (the participles) use the helping verb and how/when they do that.  For instance, in an above post (and again, it's VERY common in our area), you used the verb phrase "have came".  Those two will never pair!  It's always "have come".  Avoid using the past participle as a verb without the helping verb, as in: "I seen him yesterday."  One I hear abused regularly goes like, "I would have went if I'd known about it."

Avoid those types of things and your 'southerness' becomes charming, indeed.

 

I'll be glad to try and help you as I can.

[jburns]

You are welcome, Jordan.  I am with jburns on the diction, and I'll throw in grammar as a concern.  We both hail from the same part of the world here, and having taught language (Latin and English) for 25 years, I can tell you that grammar is one of the most formidable obstacles people face when pursuing the benefits of 'ethical appeal' (the other appeals are the rational/logical and the emotional).  Grammar is difficult to teach because...well...it's not fraught with excitement, that's for sure!  In our part of the world here, what we hear and what's correct in usage are too many times on divergent paths!

 

You might want to look into verb tenses (especially past or 'perfect'), and its forms, concentrating on which verb parts (the participles) use the helping verb and how/when they do that.  For instance, in an above post (and again, it's VERY common in our area), you used the verb phrase "have came".  Those two will never pair!  It's always "have come".  Avoid using the past participle as a verb without the helping verb, as in: "I seen him yesterday."  One I hear abused regularly goes like, "I would have went if I'd known about it."

Avoid those types of things and your 'southerness' becomes charming, indeed.

 

I'll be glad to try and help you as I can.

 

"I would have went" was common when I was growing up in NJ so I guess it isn't a southern trait.

[WxJordan]

That is always something I have struggled with mercury. I did not even notice the error when I was proof reading the statement. I am constantly trying to improve in all aspects of speech and written communication.

 

The diction will hopefully continue to improve. I am constantly trying to work on it, so it should start to improve over time.

 

Thanks again everyone for the critiques! They are greatly appreciated!

[jburns]

That is always something I have struggled with mercury. I did not even notice the error when I was proof reading the statement. I am constantly trying to improve in all aspects of speech and written communication.

 

The diction will hopefully continue to improve. I am constantly trying to work on it, so it should start to improve over time.

 

Thanks again everyone for the critiques! They are greatly appreciated!

 

Practice is all it takes.  One fun way to help eliminate an accent is to record yourself trying to speak with various strong regional accents. Exaggerate as much as possible.  It helps make you more aware of the various differences.

 

Paak the kaa in haavad yaad.

 

Little poiple boidie sitting on a coib. Choip, chiop, choip.

 

Yall come riiight over heah dahlin and set a spell.

 

 

Imitating characters from movies that have a strong accent is also a good method.  That has an added bonus. If you happen to fail as a TV weatherman, you might be able to get a gig doing impressions in Vegas.