LOL... I was gone all evening and this gave me quite the chuckle.
I came across this tidbit just a bit ago:
Dearest friends of the Buffalonian colonies,
Whilst it tis true that we do have a snowcover in these lands, I can guarantee you that there are flowers yearning to pop out their petals in the first thaw that falls across the land. There seems to be a burning hell furnace that soars in on the south winds.
Ol' Man Max of the Syrs walked off one day thinking we had accidentally settled in the Carolinas and said something about exposing hairy legs to the equatorial warmth from the south that seems to invade this land.
He has yet to return...We think he may have made a wrong turn and found himself in the lands of the toothless...lead by a wolf? There are many legends of this faraway land and how they can only eat using their tongues and gums!
Alas, I am indeed bitter because I was promised tons of white powders in which I could frolic, sniff, roll around, and push Mrs. Tughillory. Instead, I find myself watching the clouds disperse, avoiding strange white pellets from Hell, and hoarding any snowfalls into piles in the shaded forests of Lysander.
The Natives are beginning to suspect things about me, and I am indeed becoming concerned for my well-being. I have come across many who seem to be brandishing sharp items and sneering at me. I first thought this was their Native language but now I'm not sure.
If you do not receive bitter word from me again in a month's time, please come looking for me. I may be sacrificed into the Hellmouth or banished to a worse place: the Mid-Atlantic Nation.
May the Erie Lake freeze over forever and you all die of frostbite gangrene.
Coldest Regards,
Brother Tughillory Matt of the Lysander Colony