ALRIGHT, YOU SHITHEADS! IN THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS, SANTA TOLLERIS HAS A NEW PRESENT. FOR $95.99, I WILL COME TO YOUR LOCAL SCHOOL BOARD MEETING AND TAKE A COLOSSAL DUMP RIGHT ON THE PODIUM IN FRONT OF YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS WHILE LAMBASTING THEM FOR NEVER GIVING THESE KIDS A SNOW DAY.
FLEXIBLE INSTRUCTION? FLEX DEEZ NUTS!
AND FOR AN ADDITIONAL $750,000.00, I WILL MOVE MY ENTIRE HOME INTO YOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT AND GET MYSELF ELECTED ONTO THE SCHOOL BOARD AND I WILL MAKE SURE THESE IDIOTS ARE TEACHING ABOUT THE DANGERS OF THE FLAT F#+$ING EARTH!
ALEET!
ALEET!
ALEET!
ALEET!