SILVER SPRING, MD—As mass firings of career experts and scientists continued to roil the federal government, officials confirmed Friday that cuts to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration had left a single set of wind chimes as the sole predictor of approaching hurricanes. “In the wake of hundreds of layoffs at the National Weather Service, we would advise citizens to listen for the gentle tinkling of these wind chimes to gauge whether a tornado, flash flood, or other severe storm system is drawing near,”
Hope it's not too political. I don't need any more demerits.